A Snoring Roommate

It was 5:30 by the clock this morning (which I am sure is a bit too early for people of my generation, or at least for me) and I woke up to a siren. Terrified, I stood upright on my bed. I thought it was a nightmare. I thought I might have been chased by a train or something. I was thankful that my life was spared. However, the siren persisted. Moreover, it sounded very familiar. Was it my alarm? Nopes, I always make sure that it never barks when it is still dark.

On further examination of my room, I found a heavenly creature, definitely not from heaven; wrapped cozily in a piece of blanket; seemingly a cherub for a doting mother but a sleep killing devil for me; lying on the cot across the room and sleeping like a sack. The dolby and surround-sound effect of his grunting could even give a tough fight to latest music systems employed in the multiplexes.

Gosh, he was back. My roommate! After three weeks of blissful sleep, it is the time again to wake up to such aweful shocks and nightmares. I think I have been lucky to be blessed with roommates who have been the champions of snoring. Let them compete and I am sure they will outscore each other. People who have had similar encounters in the past can certainly empathize with me.

Incidentally, the Wikipedia defines snoring as ‘the vibration of respiratory structures and the resulting sound, due to obstructed air movement during breathing while sleeping.’ Try asking a poor soul like me about it and you are sure to get many other adjective studded beautiful definitions of snoring.

Let us not be extremely rude to the snoring roommates. After all what is life without roommates and extreme pleasure that is drawn from teasing them and pulling their leg. They are not that bad after all, until you wake up to such noxious grunting.

Also, let us take life positively as usual and see some of the advantages of having a snoring roommate. There actually are many.

First and the foremost, you are trained or say adapted to face all snoring passengers in train or a bus journey that you undertake. You can be assured of having at least some sleep.

Second, going forward if you find your better half to be a snorer you can get easily used to her without embarrassing her.

Third, now that you are used to sleep in such music, it would be your partner who would wake up to the wailing of your kids; but there would always be a danger of being cursed later.

Last but not the least it makes you creative. Yes, I said creative. Over the last several years, I have resorted to many such creative techniques to wake these devils in the middle of their snoring so that I can sleep. Some of them include coughing loudly, kicking the chair, banging door and even pinch them slightly. Trust me you will find a new technique every time in order to not get caught and that too in the middle of the night.

And there are many more big and small advantages that can come only from this lifetime experience. In short, it is like facing a new challenge, a new adventure, a new expedition, a new excursion everyday of your life.

The devil is finally up. I will have to hide this from him and all the roommates I ever had else somewhere someone definitely will write “A roommate who speaks while he sleep”.